Politicians Gone Wild! 101:  You are not invisible.  Sexual indiscretions always find you out.  It ruins families.  It ruins careers.  It ruins public trust.  It matters to the voters.

#1 – Politician Gone Wild! – New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, aka Sheriff of Wall Street, aka “Mr. Clean”, aka Client 9:   Another day goes down in infamy as federal wiretaps at the Mayflower Hotel (Room 871) in Washington exposed Spitzer, engaged in adultery with a prostitute from the Emperors Club VIP call girl pool.  Ironically, Spitzer called this a ‘private matter’.  The matter is not only public, but costly.  $4,300 for 2 1/2 hours and the loss of a promising political career.

Didn’t your fellow Politicians Gone Wild! alumni teach you anything?  Indulge me.

#2 – Politician Gone Wild! – U.S. Senator Gary Hart, aka Playboy:  Hart left his post with the hope of becoming the presidential nominee of the democratic party.  He taunted the media to prove he was having extra-marital affairs.  They took the dare and found him on his yacht, ironically named Monkey Business, with Donna Rice sitting on his lap who had spent the night with him.  This affair cost him the 1984 presidential election.  Gallop polls tried to convince us that marital affairs did not matter to the voters, but election results proved it did when he received only 4% of the vote. 

#3 – Politician Gone Wild! – President Bill Clinton, aka Slick Willie:  Condemned to repeat mistakes by not heeding the past, had sexual trists with Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers and Monica Lewinsky.  Clinton thought denial was acceptable.  His dishonesty cost him an impeachment.  His wife, Hillary, has earned greater respect for her special rendition of  “Stand by your Man.”

#4 – Politician Gone Wild! – Congressman Gary Condit, aka Gary Condom:  Condit couldn’t resist a young girl, Chandra Levy, two years younger than his own daughter.  He also tried the path to denial.  Chandra went missing (her murder remains unsolved) and Condit suffered his first political campaign loss after the affair was exposed.  The people have spoken.  Need I say more?

#5 – Polticians Gone Wild! – Senator Edward Moore Kennedy, aka Ted Kennedy, aka Cadillac Eddie:  Can you say Chappaquiddick?  Kennedy was annialiated with opponent’s political ads playing “Bridge over troubled water” during his bid for the presidential election in 1980 because of the death of his date, Mary Jo Kopekne.  Leaving the scene of an accident where your date is drowning makes for bad political press.  The power and money of the Kennedy family has somehow kept his political career afloat for 42 years despite this incident and his sexual exploits.  Ask not what the Kennedy’s can do for you, ask what they can do for theirselves.

All joking aside, there is nothing funny about Politicians Gone Wild! 

Some Redstick politicians seem to feel they can rise above the fray of their indiscretions because an overdose of sugar plums are dancing in their political heads. 

Politics, like religion, is a double-edged sword.  

Voters have a difficult enough time with unfulfilled political promises without having to deal with affairs that mock a candidate’s platform.  

Revelation:  EBRP voters do not consider marital indiscretions components of “improving the quality of life for our families.”

Until next time,

Redstick Republican